George W. Bush is an Alien! -- by Mystic Mao (6/14/02)

Back in July 1946, George H. Bush -- Director of the CIA 1975 to 1977 (code name Black Rose)-- was arranged a special meeting with his Skull & Bones college buddies at Area 51. George's father Prescott Sheldon Bush (former business mogul and politician) was able to pull some strings with his "Shadow Government" brothers to see to it that George was able to hang around the "area" on multiple visits.

During one visit, G.H. and his skull buddies decided to frequent the underground bio lab at the Area 51 complex. What was to transpire was dubbed a grand experiment. A skin scraping was secretly removed from the hand of G.H. and the lab tech claimed that he was doing a new test for infection and allergies with the skin sample. G.H. was elated to be such a secret and experimental part of American history. On his death bed in 2001, the Area 51 lab technician admited that G.H.'s skin cells were not used in a secret allergy experiment but in a secret CLONING experiment! Yes, George W. Bush was not born in 1946...he was cloned in 1946...from his father!

Incredible as this may sound, the tale doesn't end there. G.H.'s clone (G.W.) was raised by the aliens which lived in the underground area complex. According to the frail and failing lab tech, it was not only an experiment in human cloning but also an experiment in the sociological implications of interspecies adoption. What would be the effects on a human raised by aliens? G.W. is the proof!

Through the years, Dubya (as his alien foster parents named him) has shown that his alien rearing has taken a toll on his communication abilities -- particularly his language. The following are quotes from Dubya to illustrate our point.

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -- U.S. News & World Report, January 3, 2000.

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." -- St. Charles, Missouri November 2, 2000.

"We want teachers to be trained so they can meet their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there is not this kind of federal -- federal cufflink." -- Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, WI March 30, 2000.

"It's a world of madmen...and potentialmential losses." -- Financial Times, January 14, 2000.

"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." -- Rochester, NY January 7, 2000.

"...quotas, I think, vulcanize society." -- SF Chronicle, January 21, 2000.

"I like meeting people. I like interfacing with them." -- Outside Pittsburg, September 8, 2000.

If this doesn't sound like an alien, then YOU tell ME! Human beings just don't talk this way.

For more on Dubya's communication goofs read the book "George W. Bushisms" by Jacob Weisberg. A 2001 FIRESIDE book.

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